Tag Archives: parenting

The Vaccine Controversy

We are coming up on cold and flu season and a time when people begin to speak up more heatedly about vaccination. From seasonal vaccines to childhood vaccines- people begin to defend their point of view on the validity and necessity of such a practice. I am a nurse and have written posts defending my point of view on this topic more than once. I have collected studies and data to compile for collegiate papers while obtaining my degree, and did so again after obtaining a position as a full time RN for the benefit of staff and patient education. I have seen the devastating, and sometimes non-reversible, effects of  preventable illness on young children and their families. I have provided care and treatment for these families in their times of crisis, and have as a result found myself firmly rooted in a position for vaccination. However, today instead of once again writing my own article and simply leaving a trail of links for studies at the end I thought I would let the articles and research of physicians/scientists do the talking. Please find below just 2 links abounding with research and MORE links for your review. Wishing you all a happy and healthy day!

From: Vaccines Don’t Cause Autism: Healthcare Triage 12

“Humans try to make sense of the world by seeing patterns. When they see a disease or condition that tends to appear around the time a child is a year or so old, as autism does, and that is also the age that kids get particular shots, they want to put those things together. Parents watch kids more carefully after they get shots. Sometimes they pick up on symptoms then. Just because two things happen at the same time doesn’t mean that one caused the other. This is why we need careful scientific studies.”

 

From Violent Metaphors : Dr. Jennifer Raff

http://violentmetaphors.com/2014/03/25/parents-you-are-being-lied-to/

Dear parents, you are being lied to.

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A note on parenting aimed at the Halloween Hitler in Fargo

A note on parenting aimed at the Halloween Hitler in Fargo

This story has gone viral.  A woman in Fargo, SD has taken upon herself to dole these cards out to the trick-or-treaters she feels are moderately obese.   Other kids get something else.  You can find the story here: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/web/kmgh/news/u-s-world/woman-plans-to-give-obese-children-letters-instead-of-candy-on-halloween

One of the first hiccups in my parenting journey was sitting in a WIC office, being told that my 6 month old was too skinny. They were so concerned, they suggested adding entire sticks of butter to her diet. It worried me as, as a first time parent I was doing everything by the book and that seemed not only disgusting but horribly unhealthy. Being starving students didn’t matter… At the risk of high medical bills, I took my daughter to the pediatrician to see what was “WRONG” with my baby.

We were told that she was just tiny. She had been growing and developing consistently and was right on track in every way. For years, this weighed on my mind. She was such a little peanut and was consistently in the third percentile all the way up into 2nd grade. Every check up, exam, or sick visit I asked and they showed me her growth chart. Right on track. Now in 5th grade, she’s in the 25th percentile for weight, still a skinny minnie.

Now,…About this moron in North Dakota. I cannot imagine, worrying over a child who was borderline over weight, hearing doctors tell me I wasn’t doing anything wrong, or knowing there was an issue and trying to fix it while kids at school made comments or bullies tormented away at my baby’s self esteem. I imagine the break of a holiday with the family going door to door, getting a treat and being complimented on costumes and looking cool or cute and then hitting the door of a woman who says: You’re almost too fat. You don’t deserve to be part of this holiday.

Ick. It makes my skin crawl. This isn’t done out of love. It is done out of a need to control. A need so strong, it doesn’t matter who it hurts, as long as she plows her ideals into the public.

Now, a word on parenting “helpers” with good intentions:

No one knows what is in the heart of children and parents, what the reality of issues are or if there really are issues your five seconds of introductory judgments hint at. What ever the reason, put on some big girl panties, mind your business and keep your own back yard tidy.

When I grew up people worried about children’s health, gave out fruit and veggies or toothbrushes, pencils, spider rings, etc.. instead of candy.

Anyway, I guess my over all sentiment Here is: Yes, it does take a village, but every village has an idiot.

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by | October 30, 2013 · 9:44 pm

My 2 cents on Miley, Kate, and My Daughters’ Self Worth.

From Kate Middleton’s tiny tummy and Miley Cyrus’ VMA performance, to articles and opinions all over Facebook and twitter, my head is spinning with everyone’s idea of women and what their body roles and social expectations are.

I read an article posted by a friend, where the author of the post discusses why a mother should only talk to her child about her body on the technical issues and to tell her she’s healthy.  Granted, there were many good points in the article, such as how we women talk about ourselves and each other, affecting how our girls view themselves.  My main issue with the article is that each one of my four little girls will have friends, TV, and internet, among countless other venues including social media everywhere they turn.  I cannot fathom the damage I would have done to myself worth as a teen if I didn’t have a mom and friends to talk to.  From worrying about my “bubble butt” and hearing my friend call it a “Slammin’ backside” to talking to my mom about why cigarettes seemed so cool in the ads growing up and having her talk to me about long term–not so pretty–effects, it helped just as much as wishing my boobs were bigger and my tummy was flatter might have hindered.  I knew everyone else wanted that too.  It wasn’t just me.

Jealous Girls

Women compare ourselves to what we see.  I don’t know why we do, but I have yet to find another woman who doesn’t.  I want to be there to talk to my girls about what they are seeing and what that means for them.  With their own bodies, each one of my daughters have differences in appearance. Just between each other, and they notice.  All of them are beautiful, but different.  Kind of like chocolate. It can be shaped, colored, and proportioned differently and anyone with an ounce of honesty can say each one of these is desirable, purely based everyone’s love of the food in general.

Now, after listening, reading, watching and judging this past week, here’s my soap box rant.

Our bodies are what we make of them.  If you walk up to the most beautiful woman you can think of, she can rattle off ten things she’d change about her body if she could.  There isn’t any thing wrong with wanting to be more healthy or beautiful, but as with every other part of life, moderation is key.

My theory is that if we walk the walk and talk the talk of the kind of woman we want to be, we become that very thing.  Women who carry themselves with class and dignity, who treat themselves as if they are naturally beautiful …are.  We other women sense it, believe it and tell ourselves we aren’t that at all and simply wish we were.

Honestly,it wasn’t my cup of tea, but I don’t think Miley’s performance was that big of a deal.  I’m grateful that Miley’s performance is getting bad hype, though.  It gives me a chance to talk to my girls, who heard about it at school, about how we present ourselves and how having something to prove (like “I’m not a little girl anymore”) can back fire.  We can talk about how Miley is beautiful, but doesn’t always portray that.  My daughter noted she didn’t look like she felt good about herself.  I love that Kate Middleton looks great postpartum and I am so glad that she has the ability to feel the joys of motherhood.  I was able to talk to my girls, who heard it on the radio in the car, about how our bodies change many times in our life and every baby Kate has will add smile lines on her face, inches on her waist line and even if she doesn’t melt those inches off, she will still be stunning because of how she presents herself.

I talk to my kids about how working out to be healthy and have the energy to chase after your kids, or giving up a diet to really enjoy baking brownies with your little girl (or any other body altering thing), is a personal choice every mom has to make when trying to balance herself with her nurturing nature and other hats every woman puts on.  I talk to them about the wonderful women who never get married or who can’t have kids and it opens their minds to the many options and situations that are both a blessing and a curse, depending on the woman.  All of them have body issues.

We all want to be beautiful, to be complimented, to be graceful and charming.  We want to look like what our generation sees as beautiful.  It was something else many times and whether it is curves, or rail thin, or long legged, or plump, there are always other women wishing they felt like people looked at them the same way.

I worry that in our “You don’t need to diet, you’re perfect just the way you are”/”Eat healthy or you’ll get fat” society, it is confusing.  We need our mothers, sisters, aunts and friends to be there and talk about it.  In fact, there doesn’t seem to be a single womanhood issue that doesn’t have opposing opinions being shoved down our throats.  There are so many mixed signals we send each other:

Screenshot of Audrey Hepburn from the film Charade

Screenshot of Audrey Hepburn from the film Charade (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Stay at home/work and provide.

Keep a clean house to be a good mom/let it be messy if you love your kids more than cleaning.

Don’t judge looks/that girl should never wear skinny jeans.

Natural healthcare/Professional healthcare

Be YOU! … Just not like THAT.

Be Grace Kelly AND Marilyn Monroe AND June Cleaver… ready go!

Going back to the idea that our self worth and sexuality starts at a very young age, sends my mommy instincts a whirl, wondering what my girls are going to tell themselves.  But I really don’t have to wonder.  They have the best source for their own well being right here.  Me.  –no pressure right?  But for me, I feel that everyone can be like their ideal role models–or at least aspects of them and I want my girls to talk to me about it.  The way my husband and I address these issues will effect so many parts of their self esteem and sexuality growing up.  I want them to see the good things and recognize the bad for what they are.

DAUGHTERS TALKING

What we should do is let our kids talk to us.  Ask our daughters what they see as appealing to them in their idols or role models.   Talk about why they feel that way.  It may surprise you that it is less her Prada or size 0 tag, or partying habits and more that she just seems… beautiful in general.  She has a quality… a confidence. So, ask if it is the way her idol looks, or if they want to feel like that celebrity or model must feel, being that confident or beautiful.  We can all feel confident and beautiful if we treat ourselves like we are, and act as if we are.

Marilyn Monroe

I am not built exactly like any woman I admire, but it doesn’t matter.  I have danced clumsily with my husband in the kitchen and felt like Grace Kelly.  I have had a meal baked, kids looking cute and had everything in place when my husband walked in and felt like June Cleaver… even though it was a little crispier than it should have been.   I’ve finally fit into that cute vintage dress and felt like Audrey Hepburn.  I’ve been on stage, looking great and felt like Marilyn Monroe.  But I’ve had pretty much ever insecurity a girl can have as well, and perhaps more frequently.

I believe we have these insecurities to be constantly trying to improve ourselves.  No, that’s not a bad thing.   If we stop growing, we lose out on so much.  It is why we are here, to get smarter and better and kinder and… well just insert the thing you desire of yourself: creative, strong, outgoing, or more quiet and reserved, etc.

Talk to your kids about what they see and think.  They’re smarter than we often give them credit for.

I want to note that I am not a perfect parent, and who knows what kinds of therapy my kids will need someday from my particular style, but I do know that I want my kids to be able to use what they see as a tool to feel better and strive to be better in a productive way.  Complaining forever more that society is evil won’t help them.  Admitting it is confusing and helping them figure out what works best for them might just work.

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by | August 28, 2013 · 4:51 pm

Making Dinner with a 2 Year Old

Being in the kitchen with your kids is a great way to teach and play while doing your regular household duties.  It isn’t as daunting as it sounds.  You need 3 things:

Know what you want to make,

Know what they can do safely

Be prepared.

My 2 year old had a hand in making all of the parts of tonight’s meal:

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A Dole Green Salad with Cheese Fantastico Dressing:

What the toddler did–Dump Bag into a bowl and arrange it.

Top Sirloin Steaks marinated in Olive Oil, crushed Garlic, Salt and Pepper:

What the Toddler did– Place Meat in Bag, add ingredients measured by Mom, shake, and pound the steaks in the bag.  Handed the bag to Dad to grill.  Brought Dad a plate to place the steaks on.

Baked Acorn Squash with Pine Nuts and Garlic:

What the toddler did–Mostly this.

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Also, After I cut the squash into 1/2 inch slices, she took a pumpkin carving knife and a spoon and scooped out the seeds.

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In a greased baking dish, she arranged the squash rings slightly overlapping.  I did the first two and then she did the rest:

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I sprayed the squash with Olive Oil PAM, and She added sprinkles of Salt and Pepper.

I put the squash in an oven preheated to 400 degrees for 15 min.

 

While that baked, She mixed Pine nuts with crushed garlic and a dash of Olive Oil.

Image You can see what a real photographer can do with it.  This Recipe is from the New Mayo Clinic Cookbook.

When the 15 minutes was done, I had her attempt putting a table cloth on, while i opened the oven and spread the pine nut mixture over the squash.  I let her set the timer for 10 minutes.

When it came out, I held her a safe distance away from the heat, but close enough to shake salt and pepper over it.

 

Dessert: Easy Banana Cream Pie

What the Toddler did:

Got the bowl, and the hand mixer.  Added pre measured ingredients.  Helped me use the hand mixer by placing her hand on top of mine and turning the on switch and the speed.  Used the pumpkin carving knife to cut bananas and placed them where I pointed in the whipped cream.  Licked the mixing bowl.

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