I’ve been paying attention to the growing animosity between the police and their sympathizers and the growing number of frustrated citizens feeling a distance between the general populace and those sworn to serve and protect. It is harrowing to see the distrust on both sides and to see damning evidence to support both as well.
Author Archives: carrievsblog
Yesterday, I talked to a fellow mom who felt –as many of us do– that she was losing herself in the midst of being so much for the people around her. As I nodded emphatically, (because man, have I been there) I noticed that I don’t actually feel that way anymore. When did that happen?
Is it that my kids are all out of diapers and tantrums are now to a dull, calmer, roar instead of constant three-year old hysteria? Is it that I was a very young mom and have just gotten older? Is it having things on the side–away from my kids or making more “Me Time?” Surprisingly, I don’t think so. I took a lot of hot showers and girls night to fix that void and it was still there despite having the me time. What happened was a lot of drama all at once physical, emotional and financial and I was left with only hope and humility.
When it comes down to it, life forced me to stop pushing back at everything. Not everything is a battle anymore. When I stopped trying to prove myself, and make my voice heard, and be everything I thought I wanted me to be and the world wanted me to be, I started to find myself. It makes sense to me. I see people that battle through their days at work or school the same as moms–regardless of lack of days off or insane hours.
Think about it. We gear up for everything. We research it, we debate it, we obsess until we just can’t live up to our expectations. We want to be as good at who we are as who we think we should be and half the time, we know we’ll never reach it–or at least not exactly the way we want to. Somewhere in there, all of us wonder who we are and how we forgot that or lost it.
I realized what I had to do that might actually help other people. Hopefully this helps others act willingly and they don’t have to go through as much before being forced to change their thinking/actions. I’m sharing this, not to give the absurd assumption that I am above anyone else, but this helped me and I hope it will help you too.
Here’s the closest thing to a process to my attitude adjustment I can organize and they are all easier said than done. Let’s hope your house, finances, husband and extended family don’t fall apart or almost die for you to start these:
1. Start by complimenting people around you for the things they do right. Even if they screw up in the midst of making one thing right, genuinely acknowledge the one thing. It makes a difference in you when you stop treating other people the way you treat yourself (just looking for places to improve). Search for those little nuggets of sunshine. Eventually, you do the same for yourself.
Pick your battles. –No, just leave the battlefield. This is probably the most important with yourself and other people and situations. If you wouldn’t care about it if everything you love were gone tomorrow, let it be. Stop making excuses for yourself and others. Hear what others are saying and if you can’t change how they feel about you or whatever the issue is–accept it. Listen to them, let them push, but stop pushing back. Even if you are right and you feel wronged. It only wears you out and gives you reason to doubt yourself. People only change if they want to. Nothing you say is going to change that. If they’ve hurt you, they already know it.
When you stop pushing back, it doesn’t make you a victim. This was hard for me to grasp but I eventually realized that people can’t fight acceptance. You only have to assert yourself once plainly and after that, accept that people are difficult and may not want to see your side or understand how you feel. They may still want or try to hurt you, but pushing back only makes you hurt more when they don’t care. We care too much about closure and validation and too little about peace and happiness.
3. What ever you do–be it at home or out in the world, love it. Some times it is so tempting to resent the busywork, the chaos, and everyone’s expectation that you fix it all or the insistence that you are responsible for it. See the beauty in your kids, marriage, job, etc. See the good parts of you in them as well as the difficult. Find something to enjoy about your job and the people in it. If it were gone tomorrow, you’d miss it on some level. Find that level and try to understand it and love it.
4. Take care of your body. Eat right and exercise. Don’t wait for a heart attack to fix that. You will feel the benefits almost immediately and see it soon after.
5. Pick up a book. You do have time.
6. Schedule days to do nothing. Make those plans solid. Sit on your butt and relax with people that matter once in a while. Not every day needs to be post worthy and action packed.
7. Find issues that you feel strongly about and force yourself to see and study different sides of them. It has so many benefits and you’ll be a smarter and better person for it.
8. Stop worrying about losing yourself. You find yourself when you aren’t so concerned about it.
Geeky Christmas Movie Quiz
One 2-3 person team (preferably couples) will be given a quote.
1 point will be given for each accurate item:
What character said it
Which Actor said it
From what film
After 60 seconds, other teams can steal for a total of 2 points, if their team knows the
character, film and actor.
If one cannot be guessed, every team has the option to steal the point by using their
smart phone for one point total.
1. “Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.”
–Zuzu, Karolyn Grimes, It’s a wonderful life
2. “What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store, what if Christmas perhaps, means a
little bit more?”
–Narrator, Boris Karloff, How The Grinch Stole Christmas
3. “It’s a one year membership to the Jelly of The Month Club”
–Clark, Chevy Chase, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
5. “He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? How you ever seen his picture on a
bubble gum card? Hmmm? How can you say some ones great Who’s never had his picture on
bubble gum cards?
— Lucy Van Pelt, Tracy Stratford A Charlie Brown Christmas
6. “Uh, since the US Government declares this man to be Santa Claus, this court will not dispute
it. Case dismissed.”
— Judge Henry X. Harper, Gene Lockhart, Miracle on 34th Street
7. “Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who
sold it on sale. Amen.”
–Kevin, Macaulay Culkin, Home Alone
8. “We’re your worst night mare…Elves with attitude.”
–E.L.F.S. Leader, Kenny Vadas, The Santa Clause
9. “Fog as thick as peanut butter”
–Yukon Cornelius, Larry D. Mann, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
10. “Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved”
–Adult Ralphie, Jean Sheppard, A Christmas Story
11. “The thing about trains…it doesn’t matter where they’re going. What matters is deciding to get
–The Conductor:, Tom Hanks, The Polar Express
12. Strange isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves
an awful hole, doesn’t he?”
–Clarence, Henry Travers, It’s a Wonderful Life
13. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I
— Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
14. “Aunt Clara had, for years, labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually four
years old, but also a girl.”
–Adult Ralphie, Jean Sheppard, A Christmas Story
15. “You stink. You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.”
–Buddy the Elf, Will Ferrell, ELF
16. “You say you hate Washington’s Birthday or Thanksgiving and nobody cares, but you say
you hate Christmas and people treat you like you’re a leper.”
–Kate, Phoebe Cates , Gremlins
17. “Close your eyes, and think of snowflakes and and moonbeams and whiskers on kittens.”
(pokes his eyes) “No peeking! …Of rainbows, forget-me-nots, of misty meadows and sun-
dappled pools. Oh, look! There’s Mr Hedgehog. I wonder where he’s going? Perhaps to Harlem!”
(Punches him in the jaw)
–The Ghost of Christmas Present, Carol Cane, Scrooged
1. Hollow objects, typically made of metal and having the shape of a deep inverted cup widening at the lip, that
sounds a clar musical note when struck, typically by means of a clapper inside made from a white, ductile metallic
element with the atomic symbol of Ag. — Silver Bells
2. A complete absence of sound during the time from sunset to sunrise. — Silent Night
3. A period of one and 5/7th weeks revolving around the winter holiday celebrated on the 25th day of December
–12 days of Christmas
4. It is our sincerest desire for you to experience a December 25th full of cheerfulness & gaiety — We Wish You A
5. The only thing I desire to acquire on the 25th day of December is a pair of processes attached to the forward
section my jaw serving for the prehension and mastication of food. – All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
6. What Christmas-time song did James Pierpont compose in 1857? — Jingle Bells (or One Horse Open Sleigh)
7. What Christmas item takes its name from teh old French word estincelle, meaning spark? — Tinsel
8. Who wrote the songs for the 1954 film White Christmas? — Irving Berlin
9. What is the chemical formula of snow? — H2O
10. Which two states in the US have towns called Christmas? — Arizona and Florida
Horribly difficult but super funny Mash up– Act out or draw:
I racked my brain coming up with Christmas carols mashed up with Geeky things. The idea is to break into teams, draw a paper with the mash up clue and then decide if you will draw or act out.
With acting, you can talk but no buzz words, You can do impressions, but no direct quotes.
Drawing, Pictionary rules apply.
These were so hard, but were hilarious.
Joy to the Wookie
Silent Knight Rises
While Shepherds watched their Flock of Seagulls
Rocket Raccoon the Christmas Tree
O Jedi Knight
Buffy the Red-nosed Slayer
Darryl Dixon is coming to town
I’ll have an Ood Christmas with out you
Let it John Snow, Let it John Snow, Let it John Snow
I saw Vader kissing Santa Claus
Spok-y the Snowman
All I want for Christmas is Audry II
Last Christmas, I gave you Doc Brown
I believe in Ferris Beuller
It’s a purple minion world in the winter
Sarah Connor’s coming to town
Angelus we have heard on high
It’s beginning to look a lot like Star Trek
Up on the house top now I have a machine gun
Elf on the Shelf kind of creeps me out. But now I see the appeal…. and I worry about how creative my kid is. lol
I can’t wait to see what our friends and their kids think when they get home.
This kid went into Detail. There is an entire book called “An Elf took a Dump in my cup.”
And then we found out that they aren’t actual Elf on the Shelf dolls.
A few months ago, my girls came across my steam punk bag. They of course have their own dress ups, but they were interested in playing in mine. If you’re going steam, you should do it right. Make up, hair, accessories… They were so adorable we decided on an impromptu photo shoot.
I’m not a photographer by any means, but we’ve been loving how fun my silly little iPhone shoot turned out.
The other fun part about this was… they get it. The beauty of Victorian/Steam themed clothes and trinkets. They dressed up and became all too serious about it. Geeks in training right here.
When it comes to costumes I have a couple of rules. Fun, Warm, and durable.
Having four girls is rough business for dressing alike. I tried to do it a lot when they were younger and then thought they’d hate it later and so it wasn’t worth the effort to find that much of one thing. My girls find their own way of matching anyway. Weeping Angels last year and this year they wanted to do Batman Characters. They were inspired by these pics on Pinterest. (I can’t find the original source of these and they are just awesome, so if you know, tell me so I can add the right credit)
The Cosplayer part of me wanted to take these and make them a little less poofy and more comic booky or kid appropriate gritty. I started brainstorming. Batman and Robin for the little girls wasn’t a big deal. Joker with a tutu was going to e interesting, and Poison Ivy… well my Poison Ivy is 12. I wanted her covered and still looking like a pre-teen. A Challenge!
Confession time, unlike my wonderful counterpart Lexivsblog, I do not sew. Machines drive me batty. Last year’s angel dresses were like a Grandma sweat shop. My mom is a wonderful and giving woman. Anything for her grandkids. This year, I wanted to close down the sweat shop and give mom a break. I needed something that avoided the sewing machine. These pins the girls picked out looked promising and I decided to use what I could from them with what we had around the house as much as possible. The only times I make costumes is when it is cheaper than buying. I wanted it done on the cheap.
The first thing I needed was the crocheted top. I found these 10 inch tutu tops at The Hair Bow Company, and I was super happy to see that they are lined with a soft fabric. At $4.25/each this was the most expensive part of their costumes. Next I found Net instead of tulle for a grittier, gauzy look at 1.25/yrd. I got four yards for each girl, not knowing how much I would need.
I used this fantastic cutter, cutting 4 in strips of the net.
Then I tied the net through the crocheted top.
One half knot worked just fine. It doesn’t come out easy.
Also… word to the wise, netting rips really easily. Be gentile.
The skirt with cutting and tying, took about 30 minutes and for Robin’s fluffier, shorter costume, only used two yards. The others were equal to or less than two yards. I have a TON left over.
Not too shabby for about $7 and 30 minutes
but it needed more,,, and I was really worried about warmth and wardrobe malfunctions.
I poured through the girls’ closets for black long sleeved shirts and black leggings.
I also went through the dress-up bin and found an old Batman costume that was really worse for wear, dating all the way back to 2008. All that was left was the mask and main piece.
I cut out the Bat symbol from the old costume, and used the mask, and cut off the cape. The sweat shop did open for making the bottom part of this costume into a skirt for Poison Ivy.
Robin’s R is a paper print out of the Teen Titans’ Robin Logo sewed onto a black felt circle.
Next came Poison Ivy’s Bodice. The greenery I had was from an artificial grape vine. I stuffed the top with phone books and hot glued the leaves on, leaving the sides for stretchiness. As it was, it was STILL hard to get her into it after. If you do this, REALLY STRETCH the crocheted top before gluing.
I wasn’t loving the plain-ness of the top so I added some tool which turned out to be very glittery.
I used the same loops in the top to add some color to the top. I also hot glued a flower of the red tool and some Christmas holly berried to the center.
For the Joker’s costume I made a tulle tie and flower, but it just didn’t have the umph that I wanted.
I poured through Joker costumes and comic book pics and realized that there are many versions of the Joker.
But What is consistent was that the Joker always has a sense of style and flair. That’s what I was missing. If the Joker were a girl and the kind of Dame to wear a tutu, what would she need? I freaking fascinator, that’s what.
I cut a sort of pointy oval shape out of felt, hot glued some net for over the face, and tied a few shorter strips of the colored netting I had into a knot and hot glued that onto the felt and face netting. Then I added a $.25 purple Christmas bobble to the top, twisting the stem through the knot. It seriously took 5 minutes.
I wasn’t sure how it would look bobby pinned on, but it turned out well!
I also added, from our button bin, a Card Fan tie clip and Cuff links.
The costumes wear really well.
So, I spent about 4-5 hours, and somewhere between $25-$30 total for four costumes… not too shabby!
This year was a special one as we got to attend the Mystical Masquerade in Lindon, Utah. The rules are black tie attire or costume, so we wanted costume that was close to black tie. We searched high and low for inspiration and finally found what we wanted.
Dick Tracy it was.
The main problem with Dick Tracy is it has fallen out of popularity and is hard to find anything, let alone quality costumes for him. We found and special ordered the hat and found a trench coat online. He had the rest in his closet. As for me, We went for Breathless Mahoney and I didn’t think I could go for Madonna’s version. I was feeling the comic one pretty strongly though. With a Veronica Lake vibe. I actually had most of everything I needed. I just picked up the wig, cigarette holder, and gloves.
Make up was probably the trickiest and I used a tutorial you can find here:
It turned out really well!
We had so much fun at the party! Here’s some more fun costume ideas:
After the debut of the 50 Shades of Grey preview, my social media has exploded with pros and cons, excitement and condemnation, and all around judgment of any of those opinions. As with anything that is so largely talked about, one tends to get an opinion rather quickly. If one blogs, one itches to share that opinion, hoping for a new outlook to entertain, amuse or otherwise invoke in the reader an emotional response in hopes of gaining more said readers… You still following? I highly doubt this is anything original, but for years, I’ve been trying to gather my thoughts on the 50 shades phenomenon and this is it.
Here’s the thing with me: I haven’t read 50 Shades of Grey, or any of its trilogy. Honestly, it isn’t my bag. I tend to lean toward fantastic and epic adventures (more stereotypically read by the band geeks that ate lunch playing Magic in High School) than what is becoming widely known as “Mommy Porn.” What I have is an issue with the current lack of storytelling and how that affects the next generation. This series seems a perfect example.
However, my curiosity was piqued as I do tend to want to see what the hub-bub is about when EVERY WOMAN ON EARTH, or so it seems, refers to or simply gushes over anything in a mass pop culture vomiting of social media over it. So, a few years back when it hit my radar the first time, I asked my husband if he had heard of these books. –Now, I’m female, and I totally read into every last twitch of an expression my other half makes without thinking, but I swear—He seemed to go through a look of concern like “Why, are you going to read them?” and then sheer amusement as he told me about this Stephen Hawking voice online that reads a horribly written sex scene from 50 Shades involving a female sanitary item. He said it was exceptionally badly written even aside from the abhorrent content, and then warily asked if I had considered reading the books.
To my recollection, I laughed at the idea—honestly assuming that it was a spoof-ish thing, not having any clue what these books were about. Yet, going back to my news feeds, it was there gain, staring me in the face. The internet post version of drooling over a male character, the likes of which I hadn’t seen since Mr Darcy (other than Edward Cullen, whom I’m still convinced is a practical joke played on the literary world/female population that backfired and shouldn’t count.) I then turned to my go to Wikipedia and other such sites. I also looked up and read snippets from the books. My thoughts went something like this:
Fan Fiction from Twilight? No thanks. Stephanie Meyer won’t associate with it? Dang, that speaks volumes. Story about a gorgeous but tragically-unaware-that-she’s-gorgeous chick who needs to get some and finds an emotional baggage laden S&M fan to get some with? –What?– The plotline, if it can be called that, is simply a tug of war between her wanting him to be a normal partner and his wanting to harm her physically to get off? No thank you *backs away slowly, imagining already kind of creepy Edward running around pulling tampons out of people*
I lost a bit of my faith in Humanity the day I finally listened to the Stephen Hawking reading and found it so uncomfortably funny (because of the voice reading it) and so revolting at the same time. It wasn’t even well written! I tried to make justifications that weren’t “mommy porn” such as a lack of modern literature that entices the populace—but I hated that because if badly written S&M and dominated females is what the populace wants, please oh please, don’t mass produce THAT! I have four book worm daughters that I want to be confident and intelligent women who respect men–but they’d darn well better be respected back! That goes for authors and relationships, by the way.
Now that the trailer is out, I have to agree with Matt Walsh that a boycott is in order. Why? Because we have to draw the line somewhere. You know what my favorite movie this summer has been? Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. It isn’t because I love science fiction or fantasy—which I do. It is because there was more story and depth in that film than most of the last few years movies put together.
What we see, what we put in to our minds through our senses and through our interactions with each other, effect who we are. You ever hear “You are what you eat?” That goes for your mind as well. I’m tired of being spoonfed garbage in the book store and the box office. We need to demand more.
Writers! If you want to entertain me–enlighten me, enthrall me, thrill me—but entreat my mind to feel that. Not just my shock value and adrenaline and/or hormones. Just like “mommy porn” shouldn’t be a basis for a book or film, neither should “disaster porn”. Writers need to unlock the stories that grab the stuff they are stitched together with and they need to bleed it on to the page. That is what I want. It can be funny, dramatic–anything really as long as it is a part of you that needs to be told. You can even add city destruction if you really must or giant robots, because they can be awesome, but for the love of humanity WRITE. CREATE. Don’t pander to me. I’m in my own head if I was solely entertained there, I wouldn’t outsource. Make me feel and think new ideas. Break molds that aren’t an insult to my intelligence or integrity. It is a tall order, but if you want my money, my devotion and for me to purchase your next work and suggest it to my friends, it is the very least you can do. You aren’t a money machine, you are an artist. Make a work of art.
Women, for the sake of our daughters, don’t show them that real literature is lack of character development, decent dialogue, and plot. Let their imaginations thrive on how great they can be someday, where they can go, and what adventures life can lead to. Help them see that life can have ups and down like a story, but life isn’t the bedroom. “Life” is the meat of the plot that drives the book to be fascinating. Your characters grow and explore and are whimsical, or dramatic and deep. Again, the bedroom isn’t the main course of life, it is the dessert. Let our girls know that desserts should be sweet and enjoyable. Let them see that the sky is the limit and all good things are possible. But teach them that the “nice guy” who would treat them like royalty is the one they want instead of romanticizing rich and exclusive emotional baggage turned abusive as an ideal beau.
Women teach your sons to have taste in actual storytelling, and please let them at least think that you do too. But more over, teach them something that is consistent when it comes to our gender. It is downright confusing to teach them to be gentlemen, and then ogle the opposite. Please teach them that a gentleman isn’t a suit and full wallet; it is an ideal of how to interact with other people. Nurture that chivalrous ability they have that is so charming and to have strength of character. To stand for what they believe in, to use their common sense and way they look at the world to compliment their potential mate.
I return, I’ll raise my daughters to understand that sexy isn’t cold, bland men with issues in the bedroom, but someone you can enjoy time with and go on adventures together, even if they aren’t romantic world travel getaways and look more like Malcom in the Middle episodes. But you can bet that when my kids grow up and life gives them the days that there isn’t much to talk about but books, movies and such, they’ll have more on their mind to talk about than garbage novels and their movie counterparts.